Category Archives: Humorous / Jokes / FUN

Look at These BIZARRE ANIMALS~! CRAZY~!

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I found a fabulous blog post featuring “Bizarre Animal Creatures That Actually Exist”. Here is a link to their blog post so you can see more weird animals like these:

The Red-lipped Batfish

Red-lipped Batfish

The Panda AntThe Panda Ant

The Umbonia SpinosaUmbonia Spinosa

Lowland Streaked TenrecBizzare Animal Creatures That Actually Exist

Glaucus AtlanticusBizzare Animal Creatures That Actually ExistBizzare Animal Creatures That Actually ExistBizzare Animal Creatures That Actually Exist

Mantis ShrimpBizzare Animal Creatures That Actually Exist

The Saiga AntelopeBizzare Animal Creatures That Actually Exist

Shoebill Bird animalyoudontknow_wcth14

The OkapiOkapi 4

The Blob FishBizzare Animal Creatures That Actually Existthe blob fish

The Maned Wold animalyoudontknow_wcth20

Dumbo OctopusBizzare Animal Creatures That Actually Existdumbo octopus

 You’ll see a few more weird creatures on Cat in Water’s post: “Bizarre Animal Creatures That Actually Exist”.

Tell me….. what other crazy creatures should I try to find to make another post like this? 

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The Lawyer and the Senior Citizen

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airplane wing out the windowThe Lawyer and the Senior Citizen

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.

So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun…”I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00,” he says.

This catches the senior’s attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?”

The senior doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it’s the senior’s turn. He asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?”

The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.

He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, “Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”

(drumroll for the punch line………..)

The senior reaches into his pocket,

hands the lawyer $5.00,

and goes back to sleep.

GOD TEXTS THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

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GOD TEXTS THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

1. no1b4 me. srsly.

2. dnt wrshp pix/idols

3. no omg’s

4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)

5. pos ok – ur m&d r cool

6. dnt kill ppl

7. :-X only w/ m8

8. dnt steal

9. dnt lie re: bf

10. dnt ogle ur bf’s m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.

ttyl, JHWH.

ps. wwjd?

BY JAMIE QUATRO

The Pope and the Limo Driver

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M-limoportrait-1THE LIMO DRIVER

After getting all Pope John-Paul II’s luggage loaded in the limo (and His Holiness doesn’t travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. “Excuse me, Your Holiness.” says the driver, “Would you please take your seat so we can leave?”

“Well, to tell you the truth,” says the Pope, “They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I’d really like to drive today.”

“I’m sorry but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job! And what if something should happen?” protests the driver, wishing he’d never gone to work that morning. “There might be something extra in it for you,” says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

“Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!,” pleads the worried driver. But the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. “Oh, my, I’m gonna lose my license,” moans the driver. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the patrolman approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. “I need to talk to the Chief,” he says to the dispatch. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
So bust him,” said the Chief.
“I think the guy’s a big shot,” said the cop.
“All the more reason.”
“No, I mean really a big shot,” said the cop.
“What’d ya got there, the Mayor?”
“Bigger.”
“Governor?”
“Bigger.”
“Well,” said the Chief, “Who is it?”
“I don’t know”, said the cop, “but he’s got the Pope driving for him. I’m afraid it must be GOD!”

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The colorful Limousine at the top of the page is a Charity on Wheels” operation. Click this link to learn more about this rolling humanitarian work of art. Now this is MY kind of limo~! You can also “like” Children’s Healing Art Project on facebook. OR better yet, get your car painted by them if you live or drive your car out west~! Here are 2 close-ups I think are fun.165351_489469794882_5105757_n

dog painting a car

Cool Maps of the World

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There are many ways to see the world~! Population, vegetation, trade, flags, alphabets, water, MacDonald’s, oil trade, and a lot more. I found these maps to be interesting and thought provoking. It just takes a moment to scroll through these world pictures. It is a very cool visual presentation.

Map of ‘Pangea’ with Current International Borders

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Flag Map of the World

flag-map-denmark-puerto

The World Divided Into 7 Regions,
Each with a Population of 1 Billion

population-of-the-world-split-into-equal-sections-of-one-billion

Map of Time Zones in Antarctica

map-of-time-zones-in-anarctica

Worldwide Map of Oil Import And Export Flows

worldwide-oil-import-and-export-flows

World Map of the Different Writing Systems

map-of-the-writing-systems-of-the-world

Map of Contiguous United States
Overlaid on the Moon

map-of-united-states-overlaid-on-the-moon

McDonald’s Across the World

map-of-countries-with-mcdonalds

Map of Alcoholic Drink Popularity by Country

drink-popularity-by-country

Overall Water Risk Around the World

drought-risk-its-not-just-isolated-around-the-equator

World Map of Vegetation on Earth

map-of-vegetation-on-earth

Reversed Map with Southern Hemisphere at Top of Map (because position of North is arbitrary)

map-of-world-upside-down-south-pole-on-top

Global Internet Usage Based on Time of Day

(On the other site this is a moving image, showing day and night. It is one of my favorite maps, but doesn’t work on my freebie-blog. Make sure to look for it on the Twisted Sifter blog.)

internet-usage-of-the-world-based-on-time-of-day_2

Countries That Do Not Use the Metric Systemmap-of-countires-that-use-metric-system-vs-imperial

Visualizing Global Population Density

there-are-more-people-living-inside-this-circle-than-outside-of-it-1
What revelations have you had looking at these maps? I love comments~!
Click here to link to more cool maps of the world on the Twisted Sifter Blog~!

The Value of Placebo Pills – Funny and True

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placebo-maximum-strenght-tablets-560x367Placebo_Buy_Now_02

What is the Value of Placebo Pills?

Some say NOTHING WORKS BETTER !

I have just had so much fun reading about the quirky and fascinating placebo effect. “The Placebo Effect is one of the strangest and least understood phenomenons found in human physiology and psychology. Most of us know a thing or two about it, namely that we can essentially cure ourselves of maladies simply because we believe we are being cured of them. In other words we trick ourselves back into health, proving that the brain is an extremely powerful entity“(1). Here are some of the funny and informational things I read:

***Placebos help you play golf better, do more push ups, and even take away your cough.

***A placebo doesn’t require manipulation to work. In a recent Harvard study, a bottle with pills labeled PLACEBO worked just as well as the best medication.

***”Approximately half the drugs that fail in late stage trials fail because they simply can’t out-perform placebos”.

***People can get “placebo drunk” on non-alcoholic beer, complete with lower IQ and impaired judgement. There is a youtube video showing a frat party that served up an alcohol free keg. I didn’t watch it. You can link to it from the listverse link below.

***Another placebo effect is called “Nocebo”. This is funny~! People can also get the “side effects” of the thing that is being “placeboed”….. like irritable bowels or erectile dysfunction.

**Placebo effect also occurs with dogs, and other animals like lab mice.

***Some high profile studies are showing that placebos can be as effective as anti-depressants (probably more effective since anxiety is a side-effect of some anti-depressants).

***Placebo pill color matters: “Researchers have learned that yellow placebo pills are the most effective at treating depression while red pills cause the patient to be more alert and awake. Green pills help ease anxiety while white pills soothe stomach issues such as ulcers.”

***”Fake surgeries can be just as effective as the real thing, taking the placebo effect to the next level.”

***”The more placebo pills taken the better, with those taken four times a day more effective than those taken twice daily. Pills that have a “brand name” stamped on them also work better than pills that have nothing written on them. It appears that we humans are superficial even when it comes to the fake drugs we ingest.”

***We can’t (typically) will our way toward recovery, but need to take a pill. In essence, we need some sort of “external influence” to initiate the sequence of events that lead to the placebo effect.

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FUN & FASCINATING Resources:

Placebo pills are for sale by the pound on amazon.com (hilarious reviews!). Knowing that they are available makes me feel so much better~!  No more headaches, sore throats, flu, etc….. the whole family will now be healthy forever~! Another source of placebo pills, and more in depth placebo stats and facts: click here to go to placebo.com. These guys are goofing off, and making some money having a good laugh. Their motto: NOTHING WORKS BETTER ! I get a chuckle that they are going for it, packaging and selling placebos in a bottle labelled placebo~! Why not~!?

(1) Listverse.com (quoted above) has more crazy-fun in-depth placebo information. I like to keep my blog posts short because people are more apt to read short blog posts~! Link to listverse.com placebo list: 10 Crazy Facts About the Placebo Effect.

“There is a website, Placeboeffect.com, which holds itself up as ‘The Official Placebo Effect Resource‘ (whatever ‘official’ means in the world of placebos!) Here you can access classes, essays, an ebook and other resources on the phenomenon, though not placebos themselves.” (Roughly quoted from placebo.com.)

Feel free to re-blog or share this on facebook and other social media, as it is informational and funny~! Please do~!

THE BAGPIPER STORY

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As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Kentucky back-country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man I didn’t stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man. And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept. I wept. We all wept together.

When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “Oh My~! I never seen nothing like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Cailey’s True Story

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This is a cute story told by a 6 year old.

She has drawn sketches to go with the story.

I am impressed by this collection. I wonder what she will be like as an adult. When I asked Cailey’s mom if I could blog her story, she said, “Sure! Especially if you ask your readers to pray for us both, lol.” I think this Mommy has a smart and adventurous child to guide into adulthood~!

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Mommy came downstairs from work and saw Dylan sitting on the couch eating Cheezits and asked “Who said that you could have Cheezits?” Dylan replied “Cailey told me that you said we could have them.” Mommy said “Where is Cailey??”Kid drawing

Cailey was happy playing outside on the patio when she heard Mommy calling for her inside the house.

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Mommy was very upset and said “Cailey, you know you’re supposed to ask for food, and you know that you’re not allowed outside without an adult!” Cailey was sad.Pencil drawing by child

Cailey cried, sad and alone, on her bed during her timeout.

pencil drawing by child

After her timeout, Mommy came into Cailey’s room. Cailey apologized and Mommy reminded her that she needs to ask permission for her safety and to help her learn how to make good decisions. They gave each other a hug and kiss. Then they ended with their familiar exchange: Cailey said “I love you” and Mommy said “I love you more.” Cailey replied “I love you most.” And Mommy said “I love you MORE than most.” It went on like that as they walked down the stairs together.

drawing by 6 year old

Please leave comments below~! I love them~!

God is Watching the Apples

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apples oil painting

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Christian elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The teacher made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is
watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

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Red Apples Oil Painting by Artamara, click this link to link to the etsy shop.